I returned to that place the other day. It's been a handful of years at that. The images and words said from that point in my life are now blurred out, but I can still distinctly recall the emotions that came along with it. I reflect upon our experiences now and again, attempting to reinterpret everything when I'll never really make sense of it all. How ironic it is that what brings you up so high can drop you so low, and then repeatedly force you in even deeper. What I remember that used to bring back such a bitter taste no longer takes its toll on me. I do wonder what exactly does the fact that I can barely make out exact details anymore actually mean. Are they smudged out because of self-suppression? Or are they simply little damages that have been enforced that they may no longer be effective? There's a huge distinction between the two. Perhaps it could be some combination of both.
I do know for a fact that it has affected me supremely, both the bliss and the sorrow. It was a lesson learned that will carry on, no matter how long ago. I do wonder from time to time how you're doing. Whether it be you or anyone else, I don't hold any of that afflicted pain or words spoken out of spite. To be truthful, I hope that you're in a good place wherever you are at your point in life, and if not I hope you'll reach it in some way. If I can continue to be honest I also do hope you realize the severity of the things you did do to me. If anything, I hope you feel some sort of apathy and learned lessons of your own. I would not wish any other man to go through that sort of experience at all.
Nothing's really happened since then. Little things here and there, where I did try but received similar results. I'm still as indecisive as ever, likely being even more. It took time, but I have realized the bonafide nature behind my efforts. For a lack of a better syntax, to quote Mayer, "I believe that my life is gonna see, the love I give returned to me." Whoever comes around, I hope they expect the same too and more.
